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Just Ben

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Identity [Feb. 18th, 2014|12:43 am]
Just Ben
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secret_keep asked: "How do you identify yourself? What do you pour yourself into that you find happy and healthy?"

I initially responded over on Facebook, but I wanted to keep the answer here, too.

Identity is something that I had a lot of difficulty with as I was growing up. I'm only just becoming comfortable with it, to be honest. I think for me right now it's a valuable tool for understanding myself.

I identify as cuddly. I identify as deeply caring, but I'm still learning self-care as part of that. I identify as intelligent, but sometimes I still have a little to learn about how to keep that from turning into arrogant. I used to identify as a seeker of truth, but in recent years I've been reframing that as a seeker of understanding, which has subtle but profound implications from me. Lately I feel drawn toward working that entirely out of my identity, which is incredibly scary for me. I identify as an engineer of ideas, especially including my own ideas of myself and the world around me. I'm still learning how to recognize this identity while decreasing my attachment to it. Nonetheless, it makes me deeply happy when that engineering can dovetail with my caring.

I'm learning to identify as beautiful.